Your Success Depends on You Learning to Say No

Reclaim your power through “no”

Most of us are “yes” people, not because we necessarily want to say yes to everything, but because saying no seems rude and selfish. The problem with yes is it puts you in the routine of putting others before yourself.

Do you think they’d do the same for you? Chances are, they wouldn’t because other people understand that saying yes to everything takes away from their success and their happiness. When you are a yes person, you put a lot of energy into doing and running for other people, and not enough into yourself. Your projects and passions take a backseat while you’re running around trying to cater to everyone else.

The power to say no is yours, and it’s one of the most freeing words you can ever say.

Distractions and getting past the guilt

Saying no isn’t just with people. We’re distracted by so many things daily: phone calls, social media, emails, side projects that we can delegate to other people. Instead of saying no, we make these less-important tasks our focus until there’s no time left for the important tasks that should command most of our attention. Saying no to distractions, new ideas, and people isn’t about being selfish at all. What it’s really about is focusing on what’s most important to you.

We’ve been conditioned to think saying no is rude, and sometimes it is. The action of saying no isn’t rude, the presentation of no is what’s rude. The way we present the no displays a lack of respect. Saying no respectfully, with a reason and a thank you erases all the guilt we feel at putting ourselves first.

You may be surprised by the response you get from your no. It’s okay to suggest the future might be different, but if you tell them you may be interested at a later time, mean it. Don’t say it because you want to make them feel better. Say it with honesty, or you’ve ruined the respect.

Just say it!

Should you even say no to opportunities? Absolutely, but only after you ask yourself if the opportunity carries you closer to your goal, or away from it. What may seem like an amazing opportunity at the beginning may not be that at all.

We have goals to reach, and we (hopefully) have an actionable plan to get ourselves there. A great opportunity would be one that allows us to skip a few steps of our plan and get us leaps and bounds closer to our end goal.

Don’t be the shopper that buys an endless number of items because they’re on sale, but you’ll never use. Some opportunities are just like those sale items. They come with a great deal, but if you can’t use them, then you’re just spending more money and not saving anything.

The beauty of saying no is that it can improve your personal life as well. Your time is a depleting commodity; it’s not infinite. If we’re going to spend time with friends and family, it’s essential that we’re fully invested in that time and we don’t give in to distractions or work life, no matter how important it is. Saying no to outside distractions helps. There’s a time for work, and there’s a time for life. Saying no is situational. If we’re at work, we may have to say no to friends. If we’re with friends, we’re going to have to learn to say no to work.

The power is yours. Free yourself.

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